So what do I do with my desires? We are to look to God as the ultimate satisfier of our desires, not our spouse. We must develop the habit of casting our frustrated desires on Him. He promises grace to the humble.. not the demanding.

To have a Christian marriage , you must get to a place where you
decide that your spouse doesn't owe you anything and that you owe them everything.  You must take your expectations and transform them back to desires. This involves mutual submission.